when youre fat youre always aware of how your body exists– how your skin, rolls, fat, etc looks in clothes– how the clothing youre wearing drapes over your body and where it looks “unflattering”… you hunch over to avoid people seeing you and try to find angles where they see less of you or where they see only your “acceptable” parts. when youre fat you’re hyper aware of your surroundings… sometimes you stand near the back, out of people’s way so your body isnt a hindrance to them. when youre fat you brush off people’s suggestions to take off your sweater/coat/jacket because it’s too hot– you’d rather boil over than expose your body. when youre fat you exist but not on your own terms but how people around you might want you to exist.